


Christmas, a List

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Crippling Depression, christmas is awful, etc.etc.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-26 16:29:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13239642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Things I’ve Gotten So Far For Christmas (Under “Explanations”)-A coat (albeit a very nice coat, fur and all. Would rate 9/10, could wear again.)-Crippling depression (etc. etc)





	Christmas, a List

Masterlist

Why I Dislike Christmas                                                          

  * What I’d Imagine My Friends Are Doing Right Now
  * Things I’ve Considered Putting on My College Application
  * The Thing I Haven’t Mentioned So Far



Explanations                               

  * Why I Like To Do Things in Bullet Points
  * My Christmas List
  * Things I’ve Gotten So Far For Christmas



What I Feel Not So Horrible About

  * ~~What I’d Imagine My Friends Are Doing Right Now~~
  * ~~The Thing I Haven’t Mentioned So Far~~



* * *

 

Why I Dislike Christmas

  * I’ve been sitting in my room for hours and I think my dog thinks that snow is edible and could be a replacement for whole meals
  * It would be funny apart from the fact that the world is riddled with pollution and I fear she might die of this eventually, before new technology kills everyone or our alien overlords give us an immortality pill
  * I would be happier if my dog thinks that I am good hang-out-material, but no, she prefers the company of a cheap plastic ball
  * Only on Christmas would I allow myself to be jealous of a cheap plastic ball, so this is still the holiday’s fault, not mine
  * The window to my right isn’t shut and for the life of me I can’t find enough energy to move away from it
  * It’s too cold to do anything
  * Except to worry about the things that I’m not doing
  * The Coca-cola Christmas ads have lied to me
  * Ice cold drinks are not conducive to contriving Christmas cheer
  * I just feel cold and lonely and I think my stomach is trying to vomit itself back up



//

What I Feel Not Horrible So About

  * There’s no live stream of Christmas celebrations around the world like they do for New Year’s
  * Because thank God, the world as a whole is not a mono-religious entity
  * And we don’t all celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ (bless the Lord, make a cross, amen etc. etc.)
  * Because then I’d feel even more cold and lonely
  * Especially if I watch people huddled in coats and/or huddled around each other



//

Why I Like To Do Things in Bullet Points (Under “Explanations”)

  * It’s easier
  * More organized
  * It gives me the illusion that I am accomplishing a lot without doing anything at all



//

What I’d Imagine My Friends Are Doing Right Now (Under “What I Feel Not So Horrible About,” scratched out, and subsequently under “Why I Dislike Christmas”)

  * Booking restaurants
  * Shopping
  * Perchance drinking my beloved Coca-cola
  * Watching TV shows
  * Buying an Xbox
  * Being happier than I am
  * Buying gifts for more important people



//

My Christmas List (Under “Explanations”)

  * A fireplace
  * Warm Coke that doesn’t taste flat/cold Coke that doesn’t make one’s intestines go into deep freeze
  * Company



//

Things I’ve Gotten So Far For Christmas (Under “Explanations”)

  * A coat (albeit a very nice coat, fur and all. Would rate 9/10.)
  * Crippling depression (etc. etc)



//

Things I’ve Considered Putting on My College Application (Under “Why I Dislike Christmas”)

Hobbies:

  * Lies to self (in every waking moment, though funnily enough, not very proficient at it)
  * Plays the flute (with enough passion to fill a stage but not its seats)
  * Runs (away from problems but not fast enough. Current record at an 8 minute mile)
  * Writes (depressing crap such as this and is impossibly self congratulatory about everything self writes)
  * Reads (not enough)
  * Debates (badly, caused by overwhelming amount of stress from speaking with fluidity)
  * Says weird things to teachers (every once in a while and surprises them out of their penchant for ignoring self or underestimating self, makes them move onto next stage, which is hating self)
  * Daydreams about plots of novels that self will never write (has tried once, result inconclusive, as self claimed writer’s block and could not move on from 2,000 word mark)



Grades and Awards:

  * Quite lopsided, for self has claimed passion for the humanities, but has not proven through grades or awards to be particularly good at any of them



Essay:

  * I am quite good at This Particular Thing (said particular thing shall be decided, if not coerced into my being, at a later date)
  * I better the community with This Particular Thing (henceforth abbreviated as TPT)
  * TPT has done me a solid by making me realize what a joy it is to be a part of my community
  * To help people who I would not have talked to, let alone helped before
  * To be a generally Better Person and utilize the skills that I’ve gained from my Very Prestigious High School ™
  * I look forward to embracing the challenges in college
  * As I have already done (directs attention to barren bookcase of few accomplishments and too many books that I have not yet read)
  * And strive to make up for my shortcomings (lists out plentiful flaws, including unwillingness to speak, desire to die, utter lack of passion in most topics, and inane urge to break rules)
  * Etc. Etc.



Interview (In response to some upcoming questions, these will be my answers, in no particular order)

  * I plan to do nothing with my life, as there are plenty of men who have gotten through life doing exactly just that, and one of said man is now the president
  * The thing that makes me happy the most, I would say, is my loved ones, as I have overly romanticized the concept of love and won’t learn from past experiences that some things are more important
  * I strive to be the best version of my self, which, as I’ve learned in the past, is quite hard. This, however, is not due to the fact that I already am a quite good version of myself. This is due to the fact that I do not have enough perception to determine the best possible version of myself
  * The reason I’ve chosen this particular college is because the campus is quite beautiful and a miniscule part of its community reflects my TPT, which would give me more chances to do what I’ve promised to do in my essay and fewer chances of procrastination, which I should mention, because it’s one of the few things that I’m quite good at
  * My major was predetermined by throwing a knife at a college brochure which was not from this college. The major listed in front of you is the closest I could have gotten to the one underneath the knife. I am quite happy with it, as no one in their right mind would choose it, and as a result, I will be more legible in a pool of not so accomplished students
  * I am quite a fan of the concept of a single community, because I’ve learned that in real life said community is impossible to achieve. Thus, during these three (or is it four? I genuinely don’t know) years of my collegiate experience, I will be surrounding myself with people from every social circle and make nice and not do drugs with them, if possible
  * I’d imagine myself to be more well read, more well rounded, and more well balanced by the time I graduate (because I was about to say in three years but I’m afraid I still haven’t figured out how long college is yet). Notice that I’ve used three “well”s in my last sentence. It is a good use of repetition and those official sounding words were gotten from that article on job applications and interviews that I read once. I didn’t want to take it seriously but by the time I realized it was time to apply for college it was already too late



(I will be quite disappointed if I don’t get into a good college, but I already know I won’t)

//

The Thing I Haven’t Mentioned So Far (Under “What I Feel Not So Horrible About,” scratched out, and subsequently under “Why I Dislike Christmas”)

  * My parents, if home, would wish for a better version of their daughter for Christmas
  * Thus, I am equally sad and happy about them being gone
  * They haven’t told me where they’ve gone
  * Perhaps I’m not so equally sad and happy because another one of my hobbies is lying to myself
  * The aforementioned coke ad had this family under a baubled tree and they were all drinking coke, smiling, etc. etc.
  * I feel a bit empty on the inside about not owning a 3D printer, because I still have that coke ad in my desk drawer, so
  * This was going to go underneath the “not so horrible” column but I just changed my mind



//

My parents have come home.

They have given me hugs. I repeat, my parents have given me hugs. My mother has closed the window to my right with little effort. She thinks I will suffer if I do not take care of myself. I fear that she is right.

We are now situated in front of a TV and watching an inane Pixar movie. It is about family and lags much too often for my father, who gets impatient just as I do, but it’s fine. The quality of the screen isn’t the best, but there is a dog who doesn’t look much like my dog but they roll around in the same dangerous fashion.

There is a blanket wrapped around me. I am quite complacent, which often than not, is a sign that I have gone insane and started imagining things again.

But this is not imagined. Everything is indeed, very real.

My mother is wearing pearls and each of the tiny pearls have dents and scratches on them. I ask if they are real. She says yes, and explains that a lot of things are like that: good but a little damaged. They are quite beautiful anyway, and everything is really quite impossible real, including the TV churning out noises in front of me.

I am crying. The tears are real, too.

Thus, I've decided that bullet points are a bit lonely. To reflect this mood of mine right now, I’ve decided to write in prose for as long as possible. It’s really quite nice. My dog is still rolling on the carpet. Christmas is really not that bad without the compartmentalizing.

* * *

 

~~ Masterlist ~~

~~Why I Dislike Christmas~~

  * ~~What I’d Imagine My Friends Are Doing Right Now~~
  * ~~Things I’ve Considered Putting on My College Application~~
  * ~~The Thing I Haven’t Mentioned So Far~~



~~Explanations~~

  * ~~Why I Like To Do Things in Bullet Points~~
  * ~~My Christmas List~~
  * ~~Things I’ve Gotten So Far For Christmas~~



~~What I Feel Not So Horrible About~~

  * ~~What I’d Imagine My Friends Are Doing Right Now~~
  * ~~The Thing I Haven’t Mentioned So Far~~



// 

Why I’m Happy: I’m happy because it’s Christmas, and even if the Coke ads have lied since we don’t have a Christmas tree and I still don’t own a 3D printer, I could be happy on Christmas, just like any other day. Etc. Etc.

Side note: father has acquiesced to buying me Coke.


End file.
